So I'm standing on the corner of Broome and Lafayette, minding my own business when...
Douchebag:
"Don't be looking at my girl." (he's white, btw)
I look at him for a second before it registers that I was staring off into space but he thought I was staring at his girlfriend. But my mind is clear so I have a moment of absolute wit and clarity.
Me:
"Don't worry about me. You've got a gorgeous girl standing next to you. Pay attention to her."
The light changes. I start walking away.
Douchebag:
"FUCK you!"
I am triumphant.
Until about halfway down the block I realize that I have to walk back because I left my Metrocard at the office.